Everything’s On Fire So Remaining Months Of This Year Will End With “Ember”


The rest of the months of the year will end with “ember” because everything is on fire. In fact, most of 2017 has been a dumpster fire but the month-naming person, whose name I forgot to write down, had the strength to keep naming each month something interesting, such as “‘May’ this month be okay, please?” and until September, which combines the words “septic” and “ember”.

Which “ember” month will be your favorite? Mine will be Octember, of course!

It’s Impossible To Get Lost In New York Because There’s Only One Way


One Way

NEW YORK—You can’t get lost here because all of New York’s streets are smartly marked with arrows and the words ONE WAY that point you toward the way for you to go. Forget maps, GPS, and asking for directions. Just follow the ONE WAY signs and you’ll get where you need to go.