The Results of the Most Accurate Poll


I have the results of the poll we’ve all been waiting for: The most accurate personality test. I wanted this poll to be easily accessible, so I tweeted it and it reached the entire world. Here are the results.

At 25%, turns out that it’s the most rare personality type and they wanted everyone to know about it.


TwitterResult_scissorsAt 44%, turns out that paper plays the most important role in all our lives.


At 31%, somehow this personality even had the attention span to keep reading after the other 2 options, because it’s the same personality that’s most likely to run with scissors.


The entire world saw this poll: that’s the total of 1,600 people. But only 118 people voted. And some of those people even tried to say that they’re the 3 personalities all at once. If that was even an option, their result would be… what, a nice city skyline?

Still, 1,482 did not vote. But I have good news: this poll was not anonymous. I can see exactly who all the voters are and who all the non-voters are. And I have a lot of time on my hands.

So to all you non-voters out there: I know where you work and I know where you sleep. And I’m on my way over to help you vote. To make this a little faster for you, I’m asking you now. Which one are you: rock, paper, or scissors?