News

The One That Got Away illustration
LAKE MICHIGAN—Rupert Grump, 69, reported that one particular fish kept swimming around but didn’t take a single bite of the food that was being offered. Instead, the slimy creature seemed to be mocking him. “How rude,” said Grump, as the Bluefish lifted her tail out of the water and bent […]

Freeloading, Jerk Fish Mocks Generous, Nice Fisherman

GROCERY STORE—A groundbreaking new study suggests that people in a grocery store are more likely to spend their time shopping than waiting in limes. The study happened by accident when I was grocery shopping and picked up one lime from the bottom of the lime pile. All of the sudden, […]

I Hate Waiting In Limes

Hueomans Judging You
INTERNET—A reader was mercilessly judged by at least six people today, for reading this exact news article. Those six people asked to remain anonymous because they “didn’t want to be associated with the reader’s name”. And, because they didn’t want anyone to judge them for judging the reader or be judged by that […]

Reader Judged For Reading Article

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