News


Why Dogs Bark At Night

BarkInTheDark

CHICAGO — Local dog provides a thorough explanation on the alleged barking that has been happening throughout the neighborhoods worldwide:

“Woof.”

Since I’m fluent in Dog, a translated transcription:

“We bark at night because we’re trying to get discovered. When it’s night time, it gets very dark and too hard to see, let alone land a record deal. Who can think about fame at a time like that? We make noises so that someone hears and responds. That response is the only way I can know for sure that I still exist and haven’t disappeared into the oblivion with the rest of the world when the sun set.”

“Yes, I can see the moon just fine, thank you. That’s how I know that I should go into the light.”

Upon further investigation, I have also discovered why dogs are loving, loyal, and just fucking gallop around a park as soon as the leash comes off to sniff absolutely everything. Especially butts.  Because until the moment that the sun sets, dogs are literally living each day like it’s their last.


One Year Ago Today – Russia Targeted By Cupid With Meteor

Recently, Russia has been receiving lots of bad publicity about various things such as malfunctions at The Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics, anti-gay agendas, and its dealings with Ukraine. Evidence shows that it’s all Cupid’s fault.

FromCupidWithLove

Last year, a meteor struck the Chelyabinsk area in Russia the day after Valentine’s Day. The following story proves how the chain of events all started:

The Russian Meteor – From Cupid, With Love
February 15, 2013

BREAKING NEWS: The real culprit behind the Russian Meteor is believed to be none other than Cupid.

Experts note that Cupid has been behind many different disastrous relations with his past attempts to make people fall in love. With his favorite day, Valentine’s Day, just passing, it comes as no surprise that the Love Sniper been up to his tricks, again.

More recent events around the world are still under investigation to find whether Cupid was also involved.


Socially Awkward Illustrator Is Selected As A Winner Of Land Rover’s Social Media Contest

File Photo

In an odd twist of events, our own illustrator Tanya Pshenychny became a second-time celebrity after Land Rover USA‘s #IAmDriven social media contest. Her first time was when we hired her to work as our illustrator. She had this to say:

“I’m so excited to be #LandRoverFamous! Someday I may even get to #RoveTheLandInALandRover. A car like that could sure transport a lot of paintings and emotional baggage through some rough terrain. Like, the Pacific Ocean or those fun, colorful ball pits.”

“Oh, and be sure to use the most flattering picture of me for this story because I need to keep milking this event for a long time.”

To promote the New Range Rover Sport, Jaguar’s Land Rover USA held a contest through their social media channels asking contestants to post 4 photos or videos to their favorite social network sharing their life’s passion and tag the content with #IAmDriven #Contest @LandRoverUSA. Upon learning about the contest on Twitter, Pshenychny jumped for the opportunity to share her passion for illustration and to make her social media addiction actually mean something.

As one of the five First Prize winners, Pshenychny got a profile on Land Rover’s social media channels and 3 smartphone camera lenses. With her new camera lenses Pshenychny plans to take pictures of her fame so it’ll last longer.