Average Heroes #1: The Pigeon Whisperer

Believe it or not, there are super-average people out there who do super-average things. These people are not ordinary. They are extra ordinary! (No, no, they’re not extraordinary. They are ordinary, plus even more ordinary.)

Some of them enjoy coffee with cream and sugar. Some fart and blame it on the dog. Some drive their cars 4 miles above the speed limit. These people look just like you and I, but when they do the same things we do, they do it a little differently. They do everything super-averagely!

They are:

Average Heroes

Average Hero #1 – The Pigeon Whisperer

One cold but sunny winter morning, I’m wandering around a Chicago neighborhood in search of an art supply store. In my path, I approach piles and piles of pecking and pushy pigeons. They. Are. Everywhere! I look around this feathered carpet and see a figure in the distance.

It’s a bird!

It’s a plane!

It’s Alfred Hitchcock!

Here, birdy birdy!


It’s just a very nice gentleman throwing around breadcrumbs.

“Sorry about that,” he mutters, busy with his pigeons.

“Don’t be sorry, you’re their hero,” I say and slowly tiptoe through the pigeon mosh pit, hoping none of the birds poop on me.

Pigeons WORSHIP him. Men want to BE him. He is not afraid of anything! Not stinky pigeon poop. Not silly mites or diseases they may carry. Not even those dumb $500 fines for feeding, what the city unfortunately refers to them as, “pests”.

This man is single-handedly reviving a civilization of our oft misunderstood, fellow city-dwellers who are just trying to survive.