Aren’t You Too Old For Birthdays?

Party Animals

Did you know that the cone-shaped party hat stems from the era of dunce caps? Of course, that would be the perfect fashion accessory to wear for someone getting their stomach pumped after over-celebrating their 21st birthday.

A long time ago, the average life expectancy for humans was really short, so surviving another year without ending up a human sacrifice was actually something to celebrate. Today, if we celebrate a birthday too hard, we can sacrifice our own life for it.

But if you ever feel like you’re “too old” to celebrate birthdays, here is your official permission slip from your inner-adult to your inner-child for your next birthday:

(Your name) has my permission to have birthday cake and eat it, too.

Feel free to substitute the cake for your own favorite thing, whatever that may be: wine, TLC albums, or ball gags… Just remember, it takes two to tango this delicate dance of your inner-adult trying to avoid having to actually tango and your inner-child doing “The Chicken Dance” dance moves backwards while jumping on the bed.