Daily Archives: September 5, 2017


Adorable Toddler Committed Copyright Infringement

Toddler chasing a pigeon

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NEW YORK—What seemed to be a regular sunny Tuesday afternoon in Madison Square Park was overshadowed by a crime taking place. A toddler committed copyright infringement by chasing after a pigeon.

Lots of children chase pigeons but to legally chase a pigeon, you have to register first. What sets this event apart from the others is that this particular 2-year old was not registered to chase pigeons and he knew exactly what he was doing.

The child didn’t arrive at the park on his own, nor did he ask to be brought there–but because his vocabulary range consists of incoherent babbling, “choo-choo twains”, and his favorite word “no!”, if he was a morally good human, he would have stood his ground and told his parents, “NO goto paaaawwwwhkkkhh!”

Instead, he allowed his parents (a corrupt couple who will stop at nothing to escape boredom and make sure their kid has fun breaking the law while they all breathe in air that belongs to people who got there before them) to bring him to the park where he immediately went after what he wanted all along: to appear to be a normal human by copying those who actually are.

The deceivingly adorable toddler was getting away with this until he finally chased the wrong pigeon at the wrong time. Today he’s been told that he’s banned from the park and to “go back where you came from” in the letter of cease & decease because the pigeon-chasing time slot of 3:26 pm to 3:30 pm on Tuesdays belongs to a 70-year old normal human named Todd Ler, who’s been chasing pigeons his entire life.